Growing Up

So when did "What do you want to be when you grow up?" become "What are you going to do with your life?"? I'm figuring right around our entrance into high school, and if you were really surrounded by "helpful" people your final year in middle school. I'm pretty sure that I am not the only person who feels those two questions hold the same level of relativity.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Its timeless! Makes you feel as if there is indeed still time, to stop and ponder, to sift through your many options. To think of all the possibilities and to examine your very talents!

"What are you going to do with your life?"

Its so much pressure! I don't know about you all but when I hear this the very first thing that comes to my mind is "you are running out of time!". Granted I am not the same three year old kid sitting on the big patterned carpet snacking on animal crackers, and sipping apple juice as my teacher reads a story. BUT just because I am in high school, and I am preparing for MY senior year does not necessarily mean that I am all grown up now does it?

I mean really when did your grade level and age become the label for your being "grown up"? I must have missed something. Now all I see is my childhood dreams floating away, just as my nieces balloon did. Only difference here is I'm staring at them from below with tear filled eyes, and blurred vision. Instead of having someone in the background yelling, "Why'd you let it go?" its more of a group of voices going "Well what are you going to do now?". Well I don't know what I'm going to do...but I know what I want to do. And I know what I'm capable of.

My mother doesn't want the same thing that I want, but she does support my ideas. And you know what hurts the most about her wants...is that sometimes they are validated with the simple saying "I just want you to be able to afford your own Starbucks."...Starbucks...wth does that have to do with anything. Granted I love a good cup of Starbucks, but I'm pretty sure whatever I decided to do getting a cup won't be much of the problem. What she really is saying is that she wants me to get a career that pays me enough that I can live a comfortable life style. But is it crazy for me to admit that money holds no real value in my life...? I know I need money, I need to purchase my Starbucks, and go on my outings, and purchase the clothes I love so much. (I do have expensive taste) And yes I know that all that glitters ain't gold. That there is not a grantee that I will be a Carrie Bradshaw (although that'd be awesome...she gets her man in the end =D), fabulous friends, fabulous job, fabulous...shoe collection! lol But who says that I can't still be simply fabulous and do what I love. And what I love to do is write, plan, and help. I like to have fun in some of the simplest ways.

So why can't I be an English major, write a few books, open a bookstore that doesn't only sell books. But does more! It supports the young artist, your neighborhood rapper, photographer, singer, dancer, and even young writers like myself. Why can't I be the one to hold workshops and small concerts, to award students with better opportunities! To be the one to give them positive feed back on the things people say are:

"A waste of time!"
"Not going to support you!"
"To tough a field!"
Who says that I can't be all that I want to be and make everyone happy!?

As soon as the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" changed to "what are you going to do with your life?", gave way and put tons of pressure on me, I fell down. But whats the point in falling if you never plan on getting back up?

Now when someone asks me "What are you going to do with your life?", I think I'll reply "Well, when I grow up I shall..." =) seems to be the best answer to me!