When I grow up...I want to be a butterfly. You know they only live for a few months. Not to say that I'd want to die early just that. When I grow up I would want to be such a beautiful transitional creature. One that was slow and unattractive, but secluded themselves only to return much more...brighter. My want to grow into a butterfly my seem strange to you but there aren't many words that I can come up, that can describe to you what exactly butterflies mean to me. So instead I feel its necessary to live you with this quote..."It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." -Alan Cohen...Or maybe I'd much rather become a tulip. Tulips have always been my favorite flower. I've always found something to be enchanting about such a plant. A random fact about tulips is that they symbolise imagination, dreaminess, the perfect lover, and a declaration of love. I guess deep down I truly am a sucker for a good love story. But I figure every girl wants her own personal fairy tail...I know I do. I'd love to receive a love letter of epic proportions. To be honest I don't know what would be better, being the tulip a small symbol of a declaration of love or being a love letter...the most obvious of symbols? But When I grow up I really want to be a pediatrician! There is by far the most perfect and simply ingenious career! I love children and I love helping people in general. A pediatrician takes care of children, so it pretty much sounds like the best of both worlds to me! I'll only be in school for what...11 maybe 12 years after high school! That's not much and look at who I get to be surrounded by! All the small sweet faces of the young. I think 11 years to do that is a small price to pay, I tell you what!
“Perhaps a child who is fussed over gets a feeling of destiny; he thinks he is the world for something important, and it gives him drive and confidence”
-Benjamin Spock
~~~~~~~~~~~~~V.S.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The question "What do I want to be when I grow up?" makes it feel like I can be and do ANYTHING...sucks that, that's not the case.What I want to do with my life is much more official sounding to me. But I'd like to become an author, a poet, maybe even a visitor to a "Best Sellers List"! Lets just face the facts here I love words. I simply love everything they stand for, every curve and dip in the very letters...I just truly adore toying with the sharp sounds. The way some words mix and others bump heads like crips and bloods. Maybe that's wrong...no one ever told me it was! At first I wanted to become a journalist but everyone just told me it would be much to hard and there is no way I would succeed in that field of work. OK, FINE! Excuse me for having a stupid dream...excuse me for thinking that I'd enjoy speaking to complete strangers, learning about complete and utterly random events. (sigh.) Then I thought to myself you know what they are utterly correct...in turn I turned down my opportunity to intern at Houston Chronicle. 1 point for you all! But you will never, EVER, get me to stop loving the twist of words, good diction, and the curve of an "s" and the dips of an "M". I'm more into novels anyway...maybe I can write become a poet of some sort. I don't know, maybe I can become as great a writer as the woman I look up too. Amy Tan who I simply can't get enough of, after reading "The Bonesetters Daughter" I was sold! The character Ruth...reminded me...so much of, myself. And Kate Chopin, as far as I'm concerned she was an outcast and a rebel of her own time!...But that is all just getting to much ahead of myself. I think maybe if I stay positive enough, faithful, hopeful, maybe if I dare to dream...I can be like them. I can inspire some other little girl or young woman with a passion for writing. So my thoughts continued to develop...I am no dummy, and I've been called that on several occasions! But I began to think to myself...teacher! I was teachers aid for a year...I was given a bilingual student and I had to help him learn to read. It was so fun, granted I had my share of challenges but with the help of his actual teacher, and some patients, the students reading had a great amount of improvement! It was such a rewarding experience that I wouldn't mind becoming a teacher. They inspire, they imagine, AND THEY MAKE CHANGE! Everything begins with teachers...so why couldn't I become one AND do my writing. I can! But no one seems to really hear this part of my plan...of the part that involves me wanting to maybe begin a business of my very own. A book store targeted towards students like me who feel like "unappreciated rappers" lol. It would have workshops and...well a whole slew of things. But when asked "What do I want to do with my life?"...this plan goes unheard. It becomes as soft as a whisper. So I'm thinking maybe I should just ditch my whole plan of action. I mean after all its all pretty stupid once you look at it...me an actual writer! Ha, what a joke...its all just dreams right. Maybe I'll just go back to "what I want to be..." ME!...well at least the younger version of me, the me that wanted to do nothing more than to be a pediatrician. The me that yearned to be surrounded by children.
Just a thought...or maybe a decision...I doubt anyone of you all will ever truly know until I decide to act upon it.